why do cheetos always look like penises
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Randomize
