Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
