let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Randomize