We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Randomize
