Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize