My first STD was from a foam party
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Randomize
