he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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