Do you still have your period?
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
