I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
