I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize
