dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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