He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize
