You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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