There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
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