its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
My vagina just clenched in fear
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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