So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize