I must be too annoying 4 u.
doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
