Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
