I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
