yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
