i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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