I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
