I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
My penis needs a shock collar
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize