I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
