I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
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