Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize