im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
