Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
