My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I want her autograph on my taint
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
