bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
