And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
