apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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