I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
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