he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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