Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
