He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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