So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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