It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize