I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
