Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize