Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
That's how pantless uber rides happen
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize
