i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
