Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize