my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Randomize