hotel room ftw
ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
