I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
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