The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
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