I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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