My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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