i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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