Well douche your snatch and let's go!
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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