You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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