Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Randomize
