just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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