hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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