I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
