One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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