So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
