if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
