hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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