All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize