Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
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