Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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