Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Randomize