I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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