I just made out with a guy for $7.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
