Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
im on a boat
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