So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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