bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
