i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
