dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
