"it" just moved
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
