I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
