I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Randomize
