i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
