that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
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