I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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