White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize