the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
